p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize