There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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