no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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