She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
