Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
a search helicopter?!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize