how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
you never un-have a 4some
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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