...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Sober January is a disaster.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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