you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
