So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Panties = found
Randomize
