first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
