You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
