i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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