The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
