Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
