i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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