jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
