You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
