She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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