u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
