So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
