Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize