it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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