how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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