from now on my penis is your penis
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
