It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
