in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
