adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
