why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
