Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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