By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
