is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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