Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Randomize
