opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
