I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
