I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This is my gift to your gina
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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