and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
