:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
