evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
