Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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