lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
