The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
