i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
