Dual....:-)
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
