Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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