During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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