You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i drank out of a bidet.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
