he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Panties = found
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
