but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
