But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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