My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
