There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We're too hungover to prance.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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