Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
